ive been kinda distracted lately... maybe obsessed is the righter word perhaps... and not the hyperbolic good kind of "obsessed"... and what ive been obsessing to...you may or may not ask?... making a programming language... with python... ... ...its just.... insanity ....
i was really bored and then i saw this video up on youtube of someone making its own programming language... and then he said he made it through a youtube tutorial.... so i followed said tutorial... and honestly... at first... its been kinda fun... the basic stuff has been kind of fun... the tutorial is nicely pased... and somewhat easy to follow... theres a lot of recursive which went over my head most of the time... but its somewhat understandable... so a habit was built... like... making sure it sticks in my head.... alsooo... because the tutorial is in javascript and im using python... i had different ideas on how to write it differently... ...im starting to refactor code to make it nice and fixing stuff... starting to watch video about making programming language before and after sleep... at one point im starting to kind of realize this has become an obsession... so i broke it and said to myself never to touch it ever again... ... ...but then the next day i was starting to watch the tutorial again... ... maybe because i thought it wasnt that bad... but.... then a couple days later i woke up at 3 am in cold sweat having the first thought in my head to want to like continue making the language.... and at that point i knew...i REALLY needed to stop
some of my bad habits are starting to show as well... and my day has just been consume between watching youtube videos, making programing language and sleep... which is...i dont know... its really hard to explain... and i know im doing a bad job explaining it... like... it doesnt sound that bad... but... its bad... because obsessive thoughts have been kind of a problem in my mental case.... .... but i broke free... at least for now... im thinking about deleting that project folder but... i dont know... im scared that i might do it again... ... ... id rather be doing this... something that actually give me a kind of joy rather the obssessive thing that is trying to fill a void in my chest....
sorry if it gets to rambly... but i just needed this to get out of my chest... it was suppose to be me showing you guys this cool hot wheels i bought... but you knnow... got distrated... but i want to focus on this... because this is nice.. thank you for anyone whos reading... have a nice one
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